[Tony sighs, clinging onto Loki to remind himself of where and when he is.] It was like my second year of undergrad. I, ah, managed to get in good with one of my professors the year before and he found me a spot in his robotics lab. I worked pretty close with a couple of his grad students and made a couple of really good friends, but one of his students...I just....he was two years from finishing his dissertation when we met. I fucking idolized him. He was really into my work, even helped me with the designs for a couple of AI programs. He was flirtatious and I was a dumb kid just barley out of puberty. He was my first big crush and I wanted to impress him so bad. I did everything I could to impress him and at first he gave me all of his attention. I guess after Howard and Obie I would take any attention I could get. He used to mock me for my mistakes and after a while when my professor started giving me more attention, he turned real mean, with names and shit. The bastard even hit me a few times. But I was convinced that I was in love with him and just tried to make him happy. It wasn't until a few years after he dropped out of the program that the other lab techs told me that the prof had caught him trying to pass my work off as his own. I also learned that apparently I wasn't his first victim; he had tried to get into the pants of the other girls and guys in our lab.It wasn't until he started making advances on me that they realized he had been harassing the others too. I had always wondered why my prof took me aside right after that guy left and asked me about my relationship with him. At the time I had been super depressed and under a lot of pressure from Howard and my crush leaving was the final straw. I went home that night and had a nervous breakdown; drinking, cutting, whatever I could do to get my mind to stop working. One of my friends from the lab just happened to to come by and check on me that night and took me to the hospital. I don't know where I would be without Pepper. They kept me for a few days and when I got out she kept an eye on me and helped me get the scholarships and shit I needed to get away from dad after graduation. [Tony took a deep breath, running through his mental check list of healthy coping skills for painful emotions. As it was, cuddling was at the top of that list, so he molded his body into his roommate as much as physically possible, eyes starting to droop from the emotional strain and medication.]
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ninetydegrees
TW: mentions of drinking and self-harm
on 2013-08-05 06:47 am (UTC)It was like my second year of undergrad. I, ah, managed to get in good with one of my professors the year before and he found me a spot in his robotics lab. I worked pretty close with a couple of his grad students and made a couple of really good friends, but one of his students...I just....he was two years from finishing his dissertation when we met. I fucking idolized him. He was really into my work, even helped me with the designs for a couple of AI programs.
He was flirtatious and I was a dumb kid just barley out of puberty. He was my first big crush and I wanted to impress him so bad. I did everything I could to impress him and at first he gave me all of his attention. I guess after Howard and Obie I would take any attention I could get. He used to mock me for my mistakes and after a while when my professor started giving me more attention, he turned real mean, with names and shit. The bastard even hit me a few times. But I was convinced that I was in love with him and just tried to make him happy. It wasn't until a few years after he dropped out of the program that the other lab techs told me that the prof had caught him trying to pass my work off as his own. I also learned that apparently I wasn't his first victim; he had tried to get into the pants of the other girls and guys in our lab.It wasn't until he started making advances on me that they realized he had been harassing the others too.
I had always wondered why my prof took me aside right after that guy left and asked me about my relationship with him. At the time I had been super depressed and under a lot of pressure from Howard and my crush leaving was the final straw. I went home that night and had a nervous breakdown; drinking, cutting, whatever I could do to get my mind to stop working. One of my friends from the lab just happened to to come by and check on me that night and took me to the hospital. I don't know where I would be without Pepper. They kept me for a few days and when I got out she kept an eye on me and helped me get the scholarships and shit I needed to get away from dad after graduation.
[Tony took a deep breath, running through his mental check list of healthy coping skills for painful emotions. As it was, cuddling was at the top of that list, so he molded his body into his roommate as much as physically possible, eyes starting to droop from the emotional strain and medication.]